I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
