New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
