I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
