I seem to have left my pride at pride
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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