Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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