I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He uses pillows to masturbate.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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