That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
