I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
