I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
