So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
