i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
