No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
