worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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