I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize