I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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