Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
