No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I stole a fireplace last night.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
