I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
