No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
