i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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