Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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