i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
