Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Do vagina's smell?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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