i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
