11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
