Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
