OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
