Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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