we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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