Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
