idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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