My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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