gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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