God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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