Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
