since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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