he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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