Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
