I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
