i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
