I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
