we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
