belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I love having hate sex.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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