I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
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The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
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Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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