Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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