The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
