I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
handjob tips. give me some.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
