Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i wish my penis had a tongue
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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