it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
