you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
