You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
