His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
