Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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