It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
