I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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