dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
