Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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