I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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