dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
