girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
