i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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