Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize