you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
