he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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