i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
