ugly people sure do ruin things
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she pinky promised me she was 18
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
