Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
