I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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