you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
