Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize